Wide Open

"I thought about running away, setting off to see the world before I couldn't see anything at all. I had never been out of the country. I wanted to go to the top of the Eiffel Tower, see the castles in Prague, ride a gondola in Venice. I wanted to do something crazy and fall in love and have my heart broken and then do it all over again. But then the bell rang, and I just got up and walked to my next class." ~*~ Blake Summers was always the poster child for good girl perfection: she had straight As, never got into trouble, and followed rules to a fault. But before the start of her senior year of high school, Blake receives life-changing news: she's going blind. Her diagnosis forces Blake to confront the fact that she's tired of playing it safe. She wants to truly see the world, take risks, and be anything but predictable before her vision fades completely. Enter Dash Wolfe, Blake's classmate: his reputation as a rebellious troublemaker precedes him everywhere he goes. As Dash becomes interested in Blake, she finds herself intoxicated by his fearlessness. Will Blake succumb to Dash's temptation, ruining her good girl reputation? Will she find the adventure she's been looking for before her sight is gone? Or will their reckless choices lead to disaster?

"I am afraid. Not of life, or death, or nothingness, but of wasting it as if I had never been."- Daniel Keyes, Flowers for Algernon

The summer before my senior year of high school began, just a couple of weeks before I turned 18, I received what was possibly the worst news in the history of bad news: I'm going blind.

The first signs had been subtle-trouble seeing in dim light, a narrowing field of vision. I thought I just needed a new prescription for my glasses.

Turns out, I had retinitis pigmentosa, a genetic disorder that would slowly rob me of my sight, bit by bit, until there was nothing left but darkness. They estimated that I had five, maybe ten years before my vision would be gone completely.

Before my diagnosis, I was the epitome of good girl perfection. I had straight As, never got into trouble, and followed the rules to a fault. My 4.0 GPA was my pride and joy, and I was on track to be valedictorian. I planned to attend Stanford. I was captain of the debate team and a state qualifier in the 1500-meter race in track & field.

But despite all these accomplishments, I felt a gaping hole inside me. I never got invited to parties. People probably assumed I wouldn't go because I was the "good girl." I had never skipped class, never gotten drunk, never even dated anyone. The predictability of my life was suffocating me.

With my diagnosis, the girl who always played it safe had an expiration date on her ability to see the world. The fear of what I would miss, what I would never get to experience, was paralyzing.

The idea of living cautiously suddenly felt like a tragic waste. I wanted to do something, anything, to disrupt my perfect little life.