The Core Myth

Chores are never just chores. They are signals of respect, partnership, love, value, and who is expected to carry the invisible weight of home.

In many families, domestic labour is treated as small, ordinary, or automatic. A plate left in the sink. A meal planned without help. A child's school need remembered by only one parent. A laundry basket that somehow becomes one person's responsibility. These moments may look simple on the surface, but over time they can create exhaustion, resentment, emotional distance, and conflict.

The Chore Myth is a practical guide to understanding how gender misconceptions shape our homes, relationships, marriages, parenting styles, and daily routines. With warmth, honesty, cultural insight, and clear practical tools, Patricia Obehi Pius Ukeyima explores the hidden beliefs that teach women to carry the home by default and teach men to "help" rather than fully own household responsibility.

This book reveals the invisible load behind domestic work: the planning, remembering, anticipating, organising, noticing, and emotional labour that often goes unseen. It explains why "helping" is not the same as partnership, why fairness is not punishment, and why a healthy home must be built on shared responsibility rather than silent sacrifice.

Written for couples, parents, families, and anyone seeking healthier household balance, The Chore Myth helps readers recognise inherited chore patterns, understand the emotional cost of imbalance, and create a home where everyone contributes and everyone gets to rest. The book is structured as a practical guide with stories, insights, tools, reflection questions, and action steps, making it useful for individual reflection, couple conversations, parenting discussions, and family change.

Inside, readers will learn how to:

Understand the roots of gendered domestic roles and why they still affect modern homes.

Recognise the invisible mental and emotional load often carried by one partner.

Move from "helping" to true shared ownership.

Build fairer systems around cooking, cleaning, childcare, planning, errands, and rest.

Raise children with life skills instead of limiting them with gendered expectations.

Have honest conversations about chores without blame, shame, or constant conflict.

Insightful, relatable, and deeply practical, The Chore Myth is a guide for every modern family seeking balance, fairness, and harmony.

A healthier home is not built when one person carries everything. It begins when everyone learns to carry together.