Mechanical American

School's out for the summer of '96, and all Benny Proctor wants is some 69.

If only he knew how to unclasp a bra.

If only he would turn his car stereo down.

If only he knew how to get what he wants.

Set in the basements, shopping malls, and telemarketing cubicles of 1996 Omaha, Nebraska, Mechanical American takes you back.

To a time when rap songs were about bitches.

To a time when there was only one "real" black guy in the neighborhood.

To a time when all you needed to pull some ass was a waterbed, a Spuds MacKenzie poster, and a pulse.

Benny's got AfterShock in the freezer, his friends just left to smoke Swisher Sweets, and Katie Hellman is on the couch jocking him. Hard.

This shit is tight. Peep it:

...That's when I realized Brad Munger, quarterback of the football team was hanging out in my basement last night, and now Katie Hellman is on my couch jocking me. Then I remembered, Katie is a cheerleader. I mean, she's not on the level of Jamie Korth or Leah Shaw, but Katie is pretty fine. Hot little body. Not much of a chest, but I'm a sucker for a brunette with blue eyes. Swear to God.

So as I was getting the bottle of AfterShock from its hiding place in the freezer below all Mom's Lean Cuisines, I was feeling like I was moving up in the world. I wondered to myself how I'd never met and hardly even seen Katie at school before. Maybe because she's a sophomore and I'm a junior. But that's for the best because I had a clean slate with her, like she didn't know lots of people think I'm a dork or weird. Like if we became a couple maybe things would change for me. I could see us kissing in the hallway between classes, imagine her storing books in my locker for classes on my side of the building. Maybe I'd actually start going to games, mostly to watch her cheer. But that just made me worried about who I'd go with and how I wouldn't want to be seen with Mike or Chris and I just know if I got up to get a Coke or piss by the time I got back some jerk like James Kohler would've taken my seat and wouldn't give it back and I'd be standing there like an idiot in the stands and Katie would see me and it would all be over.