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He wrote it as a secret 30th anniversary gift for his wife. Now it's a practical, fast-paced guide for anyone building a marriage and family that lasts, from busy professionals to newlyweds, in a distracted digital and AI world. Think Atomic Habits for marriage and family.
"A heartfelt, practical look at what helps a marriage stay strong over time. A tech entrepreneur's refreshingly 'analog' answer to a world that can leave couples more digitally connected and personally disconnected than ever."
- Tony & Alisa DiLorenzo, hosts of the ONE Extraordinary Marriage podcast
"At a moment of dizzying technological change, this book reminds us to pay attention to what matters most... Distilling decades of insights into ten easy-to-follow steps, it shares practical advice I wish I had received long ago. It's an essential read."
- Kai Falkenberg, The Guardian
Thirty-three years ago, an exhausted young lawyer almost canceled dinner with the manager of gangster rap icons N.W.A. Instead, he forced himself off the couch, walked into a Beverly Hills café, and met the love of his life. That single decision sparked a 30-year marriage, two grown children who still choose to go to Coachella with their parents, and an enduring realization: lasting relationships don't happen by accident. You build the architecture for them. He calls it Active Serendipity: getting off the couch to open up possibilities, then committing to them again and again.
Tech entrepreneur, former studio executive, and author of the acclaimed Fearless Media, Peter Csathy turns relationship wisdom into immediately actionable steps (the "Secrets") that busy professionals and couples can actually take, including:
Grounded in the latest research from leading experts, including Dr. Robert Waldinger, Dr. John Gottman, Jonathan Haidt, Gretchen Rubin, and Priya Parker, each chapter ends with "News You Can Use": five actionable steps you can take today.
Knowing what matters is never the hard part. Doing is the hard part.
Look up from the screen, get off the couch, and discover the secrets hiding in plain sight.
P.S. When Csathy finally gave his wife the book, her reaction wasn't what he expected. That story is the book's candid final page.
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